You want to like your kids too — but it doesn’t happen automatically

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You’ve seen them. You know them.

They are screaming toddlers in stores; they don’t give up their seats to the elderly; they talk back rudely, and they are selfish and inconsiderate.

Who are they?

They are kids you don’t like. They come in every age, race, gender, and size. Every time you see them or interact with them, you’d like to take them outside and whip some sense into them. A stern talking to wouldn’t cut it. They need some form of punishment, something that will help them see the error of their ways.

It’s not their fault. No kid…

You don’t have all the time in the world

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Being a father has been the greatest duty of my life. Raising my children into people that other people like because of who they are makes me proud. My wife and I did a great job.

They are 25, 23, and 21 years old now and each is living a productive life. We have a two-year-old grandson as well who is the apple of our eyes.

I don’t often look back on the time the kids were home. I realize the folly of doing that. What can you change, right? …

One thing is that I didn’t graduate

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I went to university for four years. It was the most fun I had had up to that point.

That was the problem. It was all play and no work.

At frosh week, which was a week for freshmen to acclimatize themselves to university life, the chancellor gave a speech in which he stated that there were some of us who would not graduate.

I purposed that I would not be one of them.

My family had immigrated to Canada from Kenya with the very purpose of ensuring that we had a good higher education. At that time, in 1985…

You might change someone’s mind that way

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I recently wrote an article titled ‘How To Raise Children That Other People Like.’

In it, I wrote,

‘Delayed obedience was disobedience. We spanked early. It was usually a couple of fingers to the hand or the bum. I believe the last time any of our kids got spanked was when they were about 5-years-old.

This made some of my readers uncomfortable. Some did not agree with my parenting methods. One wrote,

‘no child should be spanked. Ever. Full stop. There is absolutely NO situation where it is warranted. It’s not a form of discipline, it’s an intimidation and fear…


It doesn’t stop them from going on vacation.

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Fred and Tina were taking their daily evening walk through Woodland cemetery when the silence was broken by a dog's whimper. They saw a German Shepherd lying by a gravestone. Inscribed on the gravestone was the death of two people.

On the left, it read Frederick Daley, Dec 26,1945-June 16, 2021
On the right, it read Christina Daley, May 28, 1945-June 16, 2021

“Fred,” Tina said, gasping.
“I can read, Tina,” said Fred, just as shocked.

The names were theirs and the dates of birth were correct. That wasn’t the only reason the inscription paralyzed them. …

I was another victim of the covid-19 pandemic

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What father doesn’t want to walk his daughter down the aisle. As soon as they are born, that is one of the milestones you consider as you begin raising them into the most beautiful young ladies you’ve ever seen. Next to their mother, of course.

That’s what I thought of when my two daughters were born. I don’t know why that event was so important to me. Whenever discussions were had with my feminist friends, who said that they were going to have both their parents walk them down the aisle, or their Mom, I wouldn’t have it. That was…

I don’t know your wife, so take these with a grain of salt

be the husband your wife wants
be the husband your wife wants
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How would you like to be the man that lights up your woman's world? Wouldn’t it be great when you walk into the room, your wife beams because her man shows up?

How about every time she looks at you, she can’t believe her good fortune at having you in her life?

I know I would like that. I would like it all the time, but that’s not going to happen. I’ve been married for 26 years. I’m not her perfect man all the time, and trying to be would be exhausting.

But I can be better, do better.


Why it was always part of my life plan

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As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a Dad.

When we played house with my sisters and brothers, I was the Dad. I would be the one going to work, coming home and expecting to be greeted enthusiastically, and disciplining any wrongdoing.

I haven’t given much thought as to why I desired fatherhood so much. These three points are the ones that make the most sense to me, but I’m no clinical psychologist.

These are my 3 top reasons why I wanted to be a Dad.

1. I wanted to be like my Dad.

I revered my Dad.

He was everything a young man…

An introspective look at my life

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Kristina Segarra wrote this interesting piece.

If you read the article, you will see that Kristina highlights five points given by Bronnie Ware, the author of the motivational book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. She talks about 5 regrets people have at the end of their lives.

  1. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
  2. “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
  3. “I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.”
  4. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
  5. “I wish I had…

His ego won’t prevent him from running again.

Photo by Alex Shutin on Unsplash

Should Doug Ford Resign?

The simple answer is Yes!

At least someone's head should roll.

For those who don’t know, Doug Ford is the Premier of the province of Ontario, Canada. Ontario is currently under a stay-at-home order due to a nasty third wave of covid. This post is not to bash Doug Ford’s handling of the pandemic which I think has been a disappointment.

On Friday April 16, 2021, Solicitor General Sylvia Jones increased police powers in Ontario. She announced that officers will temporarily be allowed to ask people where they live and why they aren’t home. …

Vuyo Ngcakani

writer, husband for 25 years, father of 3, grandfather of 1

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