You want to like your kids too — but it doesn’t happen automatically

Photo by Lacie Slezak on Unsplash

You’ve seen them. You know them.

They are screaming toddlers in stores; they don’t give up their seats to the elderly; they talk back rudely, and they are selfish and inconsiderate.

Who are they?

They are kids you don’t like. They come in every age, race, gender, and size. Every time you see them or interact with them, you’d like to take them outside and whip some sense into them. A stern talking to wouldn’t cut it. They need some form of punishment, something that will help them see the error of their ways.

It’s not their fault. No kid…

You don’t have all the time in the world

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Being a father has been the greatest duty of my life. Raising my children into people that other people like because of who they are makes me proud. My wife and I did a great job.

They are 25, 23, and 21 years old now and each is living a productive life. We have a two-year-old grandson as well who is the apple of our eyes.

I don’t often look back on the time the kids were home. I realize the folly of doing that. What can you change, right? …

An introspective look at my life

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Kristina Segarra wrote this interesting piece.

If you read the article, you will see that Kristina highlights five points given by Bronnie Ware, the author of the motivational book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. She talks about 5 regrets people have at the end of their lives.

  1. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
  2. “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
  3. “I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.”
  4. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
  5. “I wish I had…

His ego won’t prevent him from running again.

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Should Doug Ford Resign?

The simple answer is Yes!

At least someone's head should roll.

For those who don’t know, Doug Ford is the Premier of the province of Ontario, Canada. Ontario is currently under a stay-at-home order due to a nasty third wave of covid. This post is not to bash Doug Ford’s handling of the pandemic which I think has been a disappointment.

On Friday April 16, 2021, Solicitor General Sylvia Jones increased police powers in Ontario. She announced that officers will temporarily be allowed to ask people where they live and why they aren’t home. …

Conversation questions that annoy me to no end

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I would enjoy conversing all day long if I didn’t have to do it with people. Just kidding.

I’m not a huge conversationalist. If I’m asked a question, I’ll give you the answer. That’s all I’ll give you. I’m not into giving the background or other information that might make the answer more interesting. Short and sweet is how I roll.

My wife on the other hand will make you wish you had more time. I once asked a closed-ended question like “how many people were at the funeral today?” I didn’t expect an exact amount. “About 50” would have…

Short Fiction- Sometimes whatever doesn’t kill you provides clarity

Photo by Mathew Schwartz on Unsplash

Patch was there when the eagle came and snatched his Mom away. They were running as squirrels do, in the forest clearing, to get to the other side. Not for any particular reason. They just wanted to run somewhere.

The eagle was quiet. Mom had warned Patch to be aware of predators and had taught him how to avoid them. The eagle’s scream always chilled his blood because it seemed to come before a dive to its prey. This time there was no scream.

Mom liked to take the lead. She…

Photo by Daniela Holzer on Unsplash

Respect is a worthy goal

When I first became a manager, umpteen years ago, one of my primary goals was to be liked.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

Why did I want to be liked so much?

I thought that if I was liked:
1. then my employees would respect me,
2. the employees would do what I asked,
3. no one would give me any trouble at all.

I didn’t understand human nature. So I tried to make everyone happy.

1. I gave them any requested day off. 2. I approved any requested vacation time. 3. I never wrote anyone…

It took away part of my identity as the provider

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

We have three children; two daughters, and a son. After our third child, our son, we decided to become a one-income family. Old-fashioned, but it worked for us. We were able to do it by living within our means, without the unnecessities of life. I provided the finances while my wife tended to make our house a home.

Being the provider was part of my identity. I enjoyed my role. I didn’t necessarily enjoy working but I felt like a man, providing for my family. It was something I wanted to do and I wanted to do it well.

I was the bank.


Short Fiction- Lloyd and Rosemary stage a sit-in

Photo by Beth Macdonald on Unsplash

Lloyd and Rosemary anticipated the announcement that they could register for the Covid-19 vaccine. The announcement came at 11 am on CBC news. The portal to register would open at 6 am the next morning. They were always up by 4 am so they would be ready.

Being a couple in their eighties, they were anxious to get this done. The pandemic had depleted their friend circle significantly. In the past year, seven of their closest friends had succumbed to the disease. Only Joan was left but she lived in an old age home and had received the vaccine.


I thought that I was done with that bias

Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash

I thought that my bias on roles men and women can have had been done away with. In my mind, women and men could hold any job that they wanted to and could perform as well as any man.

I didn’t always believe that.

Let me explain. Firstly, I don’t believe in ‘equality of outcome’; I believe in ‘equality of opportunity. Everyone, regardless of social status, financial status, race, gender, etc, should have an equal opportunity for success. Where you live, or what school you go to, or what race you are, should not be the barrier to success. …

Vuyo Ngcakani

writer, husband for 25 years, father of 3, grandfather of 1

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