Member-only story
Once You Go Black
Please don’t go back
My breathing was deep. I consciously deepened it to slow my drumming heart.
“Samuel, don’t fail me now,” I said.
Samuel was the name of my penis, a name given to it by an ex, making reference to Shaft, a character played by Samuel L. Jackson. I liked it so I kept it, using it with other women.
We were at her place. She invited me over after our third date. Tinder had brought us together and after six weeks of online correspondence, we went on our first date.
Now a week later, here we were.
She was in the bathroom making herself comfortable while I sat in her bed ready for action.
But I wasn’t excited. I was nervous.
She was white.
At 24 years old I had only had had sex with black women.
Why?
I was afraid of not living up to the mantra, ‘once you go black, you’ll never go back.’
As I waited I practiced pelvic thrusting making sure that my hips were loose, limber, and powerful.
As Sally stepped out and stood in the doorway in a red, lace panties and bra, Samuel approved.
Alright! Alright! I thought. Things are starting out good.
